Saturday, August 9, 2014

My Stinkin', Rotten Attitude

  You ever have one of those days where you begin with a really rotten attitude?  Well, Friday was one for me.  Let me begin by briefly sharing that our transmission in our main vehicle is not 100%.  I can get around enough to get to grocery stores, drug stores, my in-laws to borrow their wonderful car that has the BEST ac, and of course church.  In any case today, I kind of - don't ask me how - but I forgot that my car will only go 40 and takes extra time to get down the mountain.  I also forgot that I was having to unload two babies, a purse, a therapy bag for Sully, and my larger-than-life diaper bag!  And, mind you, I had been functioning this way for almost 6 weeks, so it wasn't like an all of a sudden thing!  In any case this is how my morning was starting.  Plus, it was raining.
Image result for Eeyore
  Now before you start thinking, "Wow!  This is one negative, very Eeyore-like person," I am not. It just so happens that I am the complete opposite.  I am probably one of those cup isn't half full but is overflowing.  That is what my mom says, anyway.  
  So, therapy - our really wonderful, miraculous therapy group is about 1 1/2 hours one way from home.  I drive through Walhalla, West Union, Seneca, Clemson, part of Liberty, Easely, and into Powdersville.  These places have tons of stop lights!  Now on any given day, I might be able to go through a few of these places without hitting any of the red lights.  But this day I was hitting ALL of them.  And I was getting behind people going five mph under the speed limit.  I was having a really stickin', rotten attitude!  My sister-in-law and her two children were with me, enduring my mouth!
  Why can I not get control of this tongue of mine!  It is my downfall for sure.  I sometimes - and by now, you know I am a "talker," - talk too much.  I put my foot in my mouth!  Oh me - I hate when I do that!  But Friday, I was fussing at these people I didn't know and hollering at the red lights.  I am sure my passengers thought I was a lunatic or "Road Rage Queen."  
  I thought about that when I was around my passengers later.  I apologized to them for my attitude - it was not good.  It was my own doing!  When I mess up, I don't own up to it.  I try to blame my issues on other people or things.  I begin my apologies with the same words - "Sorry, the kids," or "Sorry, the car.." - you know!  I must learn to take on some responsibility!  For me as I type this and think, my tongue is a symptom of a deeper problem.  I have a selfishness that I haven't dealt with.  I think it stems from wanting to hold onto what I used to be able to do in younger years - stay up late and then try to function the next day!  Wow - what a revelation to me.  I really know that I have this issue and really have to work on it.
  James 3:6-10  in the Kings James version states, "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature;  and it is set on fire of hell.  For every kind of beasts, and birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed and hath been tamed of mankind:  But the tongue can no man tame;  it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.  Therewith bless we God, even Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similtude of God.  Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.  My brethren, things ought not so to be."  The rest of the chapter in verses 13 - 18 talk about God's wisdom!  Not man's wisdom!  Verse 17 states, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."
  After reading this, one could get a little depressed about the fact that control over oneself is almost impossible.  I think that what I am gathering from this section of scripture is to keep on striving for that wisdom and peace that come from God.  I know that I am not going to ever be perfect, but I know that I can keep on trying to live my life so that those "good fruits" will appear.
  I wanted to share this post because I battle daily with anger, selfishness, and my mouth.  I am thankful that the Lord has given us His Word.  I am thankful that I don't have to keep my Stinkin', Rotten Attitude!  I daily give it to Him, and He forgives me.  Now that doesn't give me license to go out and willfully do wrong!  By no means!  It just means that I have an accountability partner in the Lord.  We all are going to continue to mess up -- we have to own up to this!  We have to begin to take responsibility and strive to do better with the Lord's help.
  So the next time that I am running late, I want to remember this really bad way that I handled this time and try to do better.  I am not ever going to be perfect here, but I am not going to let that be an excuse.  I pray that all of us that are saved by His grace will strive toward the goal - Hebrews 12:1-2  "Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;  who for joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."  I have to say that I have a lot of tears now, especially after these last two verses!
  This post kind of took on a different direction than I had intended.  As I typed the verses, I felt the Lord really speaking to me.  What a privilege it is to know Jesus and have to the Holy Spirit convict me and to have the arms of the Heavenly Father holding me!!  Oh wow!  
  I am ending this, like I have with the other posts, with a song by Damaris Carbaugh.  I hope that it blesses your heart as you listen!  He Has Forgiven Me - Damaris Carbaugh - YouTube

Love, {{hugs}}, and Blessings!
Chandra

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