A New Year -- starting reluctantly!

  It is a New Year!  I am actually struggling with getting going with our routine again.  I place all blame on Christmas cookies and Hallmark Christmas movies!  I am going through a little withdrawal.  I am, however, trying to get back into the swing of things.  And while I don't want to do school -- we homeschool -- and I don't want to do my chores, I must carry on the call that the Lord placed upon my life.
  
  That said, I am still working on the Triggers Bible study written by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake.  It has truly taken the Word and started a transformation in my life.  
  
  The next chapter focuses on Angry Kids.  If you have been following this study, I am sure by now you have realized that this isn't a quick fix book on fixing our children, but rather it is a way for moms, and dads, too, to examine our own lives in the magnifying glass of scripture and see where we need to work on our own lives.  This book has shown me that I need to work on myself before being able to help my children.
  
  Angry Kids more than likely mirrors angry parents.  I realized this a long time ago with my kids.  I didn't have this intense anger until I had the three children.  Why is it that I had this anger?  I can attribute it to several things -- being tired, being under a lot of stress, being tired, being under a lot of pressure to do it all, being tired...LOL!  I think what it truly boils down to is my own lack of self control.  Being tired is my own fault for not stopping and going to bed.  But I am not going to focus on that point.  I want to focus on what this book has pointed out to me.
  
  No one likes having an angry child.  As moms who struggle with anger, we often fear that we are modeling this hotheaded beahavior and that our kids are picking up on it.  We may not like to hear it, but we ave to begin with examining ourselves before trying to help your children.  What is it that we do to provoke them to anger? (46)  The authors of this book have this list:

  • unreasonable expectations
  • inconsistent standards among siblings
  • favoritism
  • punishing them in anger
  • scolding or lecturing
  • physical or verbal abuse
  • discouragement or not praising them enough
  • conflicts in our marriage
  • our own inability to ask for forgiveness
  • not listening to them or hearing them out in a reasonable manner
  • restricting them too much or controlling their every move
  • failing to keep our promises
  • belittling them
  • constant fault-finding
  • overprotecting
  • taking our anger with someone or something else out on our kids (47)
They share that we must first take ownership of our part.  That is the biblical response to an angry child.  They share this scripture about pulling out the speck of your brother's eye while we have a log in our own. (Luke 6:41-42)  Yes!  We cannot fix that child or help them we walk around with an even bigger problem! (48)
  
  "Much of the growth in our own spiritual walk is a result of being refined by motherhood.  The great news is that God longs to help us and He always answers the righteous prayers of His children who long to do the right thing!  Don't be discouraged by any conviction that the Lord may be laying on your heart!  Allow holy conviction to catapult you towards spiritual growth.  Moms don't need to be perfect, but we must yield to being perfected in Christ!" (49) Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal to you His wisdom to become a more gentle and Christ-centered mom, so that neither you nor your children are displaying sinful anger. (50)

  This next area is from the Triggers Study Guide.  They share these scriptures to read from Colossians 3:21, Galatians 5:25-26, and Psalm 119:1-6.  They also share these questions that I am putting on here for you to ponder and maybe even write out and answer. (26)

  • What resonated with you or challenged you most from this chapter on Angry Kids?  How can you practically deal with this trigger in your own life?
  • Take a look back at the list of ways we may exasperate our children.  Which of these may be contributing to anger or resentment in your kids?  What practical things can you do that will help you abide in Christ and grow in your spiritual walk? And remember, there is ABUNDANT GRACE for us as we confess our part and yield to Christ's perfecting work in our lives!
  • Which of the above passages resonates with you today and why?(27)
  It isn't ever easy being faced with our own problem areas.  I think that I see in this for me that I try to do on my own what I so desperately need Jesus to help me do.  I cannot do this parenting thing without His help!  I am excited to see there is some progress in my own life because I know that on my own I can do nothing!  But we can Philippians 4:13 this!  "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

  These ladies always end their chapters with a prayer.  But before I pray with you, I want to leave you with a song, "Nothing is Impossible," by Building 429.  I love this song and being reminded that with the Lord there is not one thing that we can't do WITH Him!
  
  I am going to pray Amber Lia and Wendy Speake's prayer with you.  "Father, I don't want my child to be angry because of anything I have done.  Reveal to me the ways that I may be provoking my child to anger and forgive me.  Help me to feel Your love for me, even when I mess up, and allow me to love and teach my kids in a godly way.  Soften the heart of my child, and help me to be patient as You transform my heart and theirs.  Thank you for convicting me, but not condemning me!  Thank you for promising to give me wisdom to reach my angry child.  In Jesus' name, Amen!" (50)

  Be blessed and know you are loved with an everlasting love!!

Love, {{hugs}}, and Blessings!!

:0)Chandra



























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