Letting Go and Pressing On :0)

  This Wednesday will be our oldest son's birthday!  He will turn 12!!  I remember when he came into this world - mainly because it was a hard, back labor.  LOL!  And they are right - that infamous "They," that tell us you will forget the pain.  It is true that you do forget the pain;  however, I will not ever forget the moment of him coming into this world.
  You see, I had just had a loss the year before of a set of twin boys.  It was a very painful experience that was soothed by another pregnancy and delivery of a BOY!  I will share my story of loss one day and how the Lord carried me through it, but today is not that day.  I will, however, say that if you ever have experienced that deep, sorrowful loss, you can come out on the other side of it and be healed from that!
  In any case - Siler is going to be 12.  I remember turning 12!  It was a fun time in my life.  So I am really excited to be celebrating this with him.  He is a lasagna fan, so tomorrow night, we will have lasagna and brownies :0)
  I have been reading several books as of late, and I have one in particular that I am working through. It is Made to Crave by LysaTerkeurst.  A dear friend gave it to me.  I have to admit that when I first opened it up and started to read it, that I was having my toes stepped on.  I put it away for a bit.  I got it back out at the beginning of the school year and have been making my way through it.  It is a bit revealing of my inner-self, and so that is taking some time to work through.  If you have ever done some self-examination, it is hard and painful.  But since I am a Christian and I know that He is working on me, I am not down!  As a matter of fact, "

Philippians 3:13-16King James Version (KJV)

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.
16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.
Being reminded in these verses to not only work toward our goal(s), but to forget the past is life-changing!  The past can hold you back from what the Lord has in store for you.  So far in this book, I am grasping this message of loving the Lord first and not having anything, even my chocolate and sugar, above Him.  I have found that I am an emotional eater and look for chocolate to soothe myself when I am hurt.  Okay, and I will be honest, I eat it when I am happy, indifferent, angry, etc.  I need to get that out of my life, not forever, but for a space of time and allow the Lord to fill that need.  To talk to Him when I am struggling and not reach out to food - especially my precious chocolate.
  Lysa points out so much in this book, but I wanted to share just one more thing.  She states this  - "Only by being filled with authentic soul food from Jesus - following Him and telling others about Him - will our souls ever be truly satisfied.  And breaking free from consuming thoughts about food allows us to see and pursue our calling with more confidence and clarity."
  We cannot do things that are hard on our own.  I get that now.  I understand that instead of reaching for a chocolate or a sweet when I am emotional, I should pray.  He wants us to reach out to Him when we are struggling.  Now is that to say that I will never eat another sweet again - no. But it is revealing to me that food has become a little god that I was putting in the place of MY God.  I am not alone in this struggle.  My desire is not to get skinny but to put food in its proper place in my life.  To have Jesus as my soothing balm and not food.  I believe I am in a good place because just stating it, admitting to it, is a big step.  
   This is not a fun post, but it is one that has been on my heart.  I needed to get this said because my friends can help me and have helped me in this journey.  I love a song that is out on the radio "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave.  This is an awesome reminder that we really need to let go of our past in any area (even misuse of food!) and be Redeemed!!!  Jesus died for all our areas of sin - the big and little.  I am so thankful for that fact and so blessed!  I pray for you, dear friend, that you realize this, too!  You are in my thoughts and prayers :)  Hope you have a blessed rest of the day!

Love, Blessings, and {{hugs}},


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